Listen for the Whisper

5 Questions to Ponder to Help you Navigate Holiday Energies

“With a thousand different voices ringing in my ear
I listen for the whisper that only the heart can hear.”

— Jana Stanfield

It’s that time of year when everything appears to accelerate even faster and Life’s chaos is expressed more fanatically than ever!

 It can be especially challenging to find the joy, love, and peace that I believe- are the true gifts of this season.

 Whether with family of origin or of choice, holidays can bring out the best and the worst of behaviors. The oughts and shoulds blare loudly from both outside and in, no matter how we might have grown or now live our daily lives.

A strange phenomenon occurs when we come together to celebrate holiday traditions. Stranger still, can be the experience we create for ourselves by the cyclic thoughts and triggered feelings of old wounds and beliefs of our past.

If you find yourself in secret agreement with me, know that there is hope for all of us! 

When I notice I’m getting sucked into the holiday frenzy, I remind myself of  the tools that can help me navigate this volatile period. There are things I can do to support myself and the experience I want to have.

Here are 5 questions I ask myself. Asking myself questions connects me with the heart of my best self. The whispered answers offer me courage, direction and support. All that is necessary is to give myself permission to show up and interact from this place.

 Try it for yourself: Ask yourself a question aloud, take a deep breath, and allow your answer to come with the exhale.

1)        What one thing can I do to demonstrate self-care?

Consider adding conscious periods (even moments) of Being Alone.

Escape to the outdoors, focus on the gifts of nature, Breathe in…Life.

Excuse yourself to the restroom if that’s what you can do! Give yourself a time out from people and situations that activate you. Take a breather/ break from any negative energy-  especially if that energy emanates from you. Do anything in the moment that shifts your focus to self-care!

 2)  What invitation or obligation can I graciously decline?

Saying yes when you really mean no - is one of the greatest ways you can sabotage your happiness and fuel your self-judgement. Without needing to figure out why you do it, could you honor your inner voice? It is enough to graciously decline without needing to offer excuses or explanations.

 3)  Where can I give of myself to others?

Giving of yourself does not mean depleting your gifts or ignoring what you value. Giving of things is rarely what brings Joy. And if it does, it is short lived. It is not the thing itself that generates a hold on our hearts, but the feelings and the act of sharing that continues to live on in our memories.

Look to see where you might give of yourself differently this year.

Be what you love and give that to others.

 4)  Which holiday tradition or activity do I choose to celebrate?

My Mother use to say that the holidays were “Moms Big Production.” Trying to do it all to please everyone can leave you exhausted and perhaps feeling resentful . Yet there are those specific traditions that fill your heart and represent what you love about the holidays. Give yourself permission to selectively choose to participate in those. Listen to the whisper to create new ways to celebrate and generate fresh joy in your holiday traditions.

 5)  Where can I accept and be compassionate with myself and others?

Most of our angst and hurt feelings come from unresolved issues and embellished memories of our past. So it’s easy to see how holiday events and reunions with families could naturally aggravate our bruises.

When we recognize that others might be having their own challenging and uncomfortable experience, our need to judge and resist them diminishes.

And when we let go of judging others, we feel less judged ourselves.

Choose to accept that everyone is doing the best they can in the moment, including you. Choose to be compassionate and discover ways to demonstrate that this season!

 With love & light, I honor the place where you and I are one.

 JMM

Deliberate Effort

“Your relief has come in response to some deliberate effort that you have offered. For when you are able to consciously find relief, then you have regained creative control of your own experience, and then you are on your way to wherever you wish to go.”

— Abraham-Hicks

Whether it be an escape from a negative relationship, reassurance while taking a risk, or simply the alleviation of a persistent irritant, we all want to experience a sense of relief and freedom.

Yet rather than trust the clear voice of our intuition, its gift of Good Orderly Direction, we sometimes feign ignorance. We justify taking the easier, softer way. This particular path rarely makes us feel better or changes anything.

We lose sight of the direct correlation between our conscious participation and our ability to affect change. We fall into complacency and begin to complain that we are the victims of our situation.

The truth is we are not limited or immobilized by any circumstance. It is our state of mind and our need to judge, that has us believing we are powerless.

Gandhi tells us, “Happiness is when what we think, what we say, and what we do, are in harmony.”  

It is essential to actively take charge of our thoughts and the language we use with ourselves and others. It is our responsibility to be intentional in our actions, to listen to our inner guidance for our next right step!

We’ve got to roll up our sleeves and stay focused on what we want. When we stay the course and are willing to do what it takes to plow forward, new possibilities and rewards abound!

And here’s the really good news:  When we make conscious choices and take action that honors and respects ourselves, we create and set into motion ~ the highest and greatest good for all others as well.

Ponder This:

Where in your Life are you ready to consolidate your efforts to take back your creative control?

The Art of Acknowledgment

“Nothing builds self-esteem & self-confidence like accomplishment.”

— Thomas Carlyle

Most of us massively produce all day long. We complete multiple tasks & manage to juggle our endless responsibilities. We continuously revise our schedules in an effort to make progress at attaining our goals.  

We’ve become masters on the path of human doing-ness  and cleverly strive to squeeze into each moment ~ our best performance.

It is an intensive exercise of generating more and keeping up the pace.

Yet at the end of the day, despite what we might have accomplished, do any of us really celebrate ourselves for a job well done or a great day lived?

Accomplishment is not enough! For us to experience joy & fulfillment with ourselves and in our lives, we must develop a consistent practice of something else.

We must learn the art of acknowledgment. We must practice giving attention to and deeming value for “whatever it is” that we’ve accomplished. 

Learning to slow down to assess the mini milestones of our lives is about choosing a direction for our focus. Could we recognize & praise ourselves rather than dismiss as unworthy?

Accomplishment alone does not change how we feel about ourselves & our capabilities.  It is what we think & how we feel about our accomplishment that fuels our self esteem. It is this that empowers our trust and confidence to take the next right step.
 

Ponder This:

What are three personal accomplishments you are now willing to acknowledge?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Clear the Snow

“In any moment of your Life, you are choosing between Love and something else.”

— Dr. Robert Holden

When we get a good snowfall my husband & I dive right in to shoveling to avoid the pain of procrastination.  We’ve honored our unspoken agreement to immediately remove the snow off our driveway & deck for almost 32 years. 

Last week the 6 inches of snow we were to receive turned out to be 14.

Though my shoveling partner was out of town, my spirits were high as I set out to do my job.

Shoveling is rather therapeutic for me. It is a way of meditation, a simple rhythmic routine. Being physically outside and breathing in fresh crisp air clears my head.

I quickly evaluated my task in the early morning quiet. I had the freedom to choose my own way of tackling this responsibility.  Appropriately dressed & centered in my Breath, I began.  

The quiet air around me echoed the smooth swoosh of my shovel on the pavement.  I consciously walked each scoop over to the side of the drive & flipped it onto the growing pile.  

Some of my first thoughts were of my Mother.  I smiled & felt warm inside as I pictured her out shoveling, her green plaid scarf wrapped tightly around her head & mouth like a muzzle. She was the snow shoveler in our family. 

She taught my sisters & I the fine art of clearing the walks, enjoying the beauty of the snow & creating a sense of accomplishment. 

While focusing on my Mother and those happy memories my shoveling was smooth, consistent, & productive.  I felt a patient pleasure in the progress I was making and in the dance of my own movements.

After a while, I looked up to evaluate what was left to be cleared & immediately felt discouraged at the wall of snow ahead of me. I even began to feel resentful of my husband enjoying himself in Mexico!

Stuck in fueling my thoughts with judgment & resentment, I began to attack the snow & fight with myself. Exhausted, I stopped to catch my breath. 

Seeing the sun peeking through the trees humbled me and the fragrant scent of pine refreshed my attitude.  Reminded of the gifts that surrounded me, I felt grateful for my health & ability to even shovel in the first place.

Physically clearing the snow acted as a metaphor, a reflection of my internal journey. Three hours later I finished my last scoop before steppingback to admire what I had accomplished.  It was a job my Mom would have been proud to see! 

And then I had that special feeling she was with me all along :-)

Ponder This:
When have you stopped to take a breath & clear the snow?

A Thankful Voice

“Gratitude is the memory of the heart.”

— Jean Baptiste Massieu

Since I was a kid, I have enjoyed writing as a way to express myself.  Journaling, jotting down quotes, & recording mental insights have always brought me home. Home to where my heart remembers, home to the present.

The format of an acrostic poem has been a favorite of mine. I love the structure it provides to focus my thoughts & script my message. As I turn my attention to this month of November, I “see” the word grateful.

GRATEFUL

G ~ Gratitude is a choice, an attitude, a practice. It is a “state of being,” which has its roots in the present ~ where God exists.

R ~ Running water invites me to be present. In taking my shower or washing my hands, I focus on & honor those who cannot enjoy this luxury.

A ~ Acceptance illuminates & expands my present consciousness. It unleashes my resistance & allows me to flow effortlessly in the rhythm of Life.

T ~ Trust is the venue where truth shines light. It’s a place on a dark path where I can stand in faith. It is my memory of connection & the voice of my inner wisdom.

E ~ Energy = Life. Spirit. Movement. Passion. Power!

F ~ Freedom to be authentically me. Free to show up, contribute, & receive love from my family, friends, furry companions & Mother Nature.

U ~ Unlimited. Infinite possibilities & potential. I create my Life how I want it to be from my own perspective of the present moment.

L ~ Love is all there is right here, right now. Abundant, consistent, & unconditional. And because you’re right here reading this, I hold you gratefully in my heart!

Ponder This:

When you think of gratitude, what does your heart want you to see?

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