My Part is Love

My Part is Love

“Do not be daunted by the enormity
of the world’s grief.
Do justly, now. Love mercy, now.
Walk humbly, now.
You are not obligated to complete the work,

but neither are you free to abandon it.
”

— from The Talmud 303

Last year my yoga teacher and treasured friend shared this inspiration at the beginning of a yoga practice. At the time it caught my attention. I knew it was important.

Now I know why.

Our world and everything we’ve known is in flux, in transformation. Each morning we are invited to consider what is no longer working or necessary and what new path we might embrace. 

Many of us have been forced to drop out of the unsustainable pace we were living in. Perhaps we’ve been quarantined from ourselves and the reckless way we may have choked Life out of each day.

The Earth’s Life force has begun to surge again as humanity’s rampage and abuse subsides. In some ways, this global upheaval could represent her last attempt to capture our attention, to beg for mercy.

Daily I seek my spiritual Truth. I am aware that both the world and the ground beneath me, appear to lurch and roll beyond my control. 

This is what I know today…

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. 
Our collective loss is unfathomable! Not only of human Life, but loss of routines, systems, identities and beliefs that use to provide us our framework to function. 

Focusing on media updates of our pandemic catastrophe can make us feel inundated, intimidated, and powerless. We must bring our attention back to our own feelings of loss and sadness where we can acknowledge and heal from the inside, out.  

Do justly, now.
The virus has given us a universal opportunity to create a new norm of equality and fairness. It has exposed our cultural myth that unique means divided.

We are free and responsible to act authentically, do what we believe is right, and unify our efforts for the greatest good for all. 

Love mercy, now.
Compassion, forgiveness, kindness, and love, a mission performed out of a desire to relieve suffering…

We look for ways to demonstrate our mercy in every opportunity that Life presents to us. 

Walk humbly now. 
Let’s check in to see where we may be arrogant or less than respectful in our relationships with Mother Earth and others. Where do we show up in our fear rather than with our assertiveness?

As I shift my focus from me and my own self-importance - I see how to walk humbly in the privilege of Life, health, and belonging. I recognize my power to choose my own response to every interaction before me.

You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.
Just as was true for our parents, generations, and ancestors before us, no one singular group can possibly realign our human course to heal, survive, and thrive.

Yet when each of us take a stand within our own human-ness to contribute our gifts, strengths, and Truth, we collectively hold in motion the direction of our intentions and the power of our love.

PONDER THIS

How do you show up to contribute to the greater good?

Each Day a New Dawn

Each Day a New Dawn

“Letting go of our need to resist the new, the different, and the
 unfamiliar — allows us to move forward incrementally —
 to eventually embrace it.”

— Jani McCarty

This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced an uninvited, unwanted period of reckoning. I remember another time of great upheaval -which for me - was unprecedented, inconvenient and extremely uncomfortable.

Kind of like now.

The big difference between then and now was that while the outside world continued along pretty much as usual, my own familiar Life crumbled into unrecognizable pieces.

Not that my Life was going all that well to begin with. I had been spiraling down for several years, lost in an endless battle to fix myself and to regain some semblance of happiness, of my self-control. 

It was exhausting to try to manage my drinking and drugging while showing up daily, pretending to be normal.

You see I had lost my way. I had fallen off my path and couldn’t remember what was true for me. I was disillusioned by my beliefs and had strayed from what was really important in Life.

Kind of like now.

What I counted on for my reality, the outside influences that I relied on to define me and how my Life should look, drastically changed.

Nothing was the same. Piece by piece familiar aspects fell away. I felt disorientated, afraid, and certainly powerless.

Kind of like now.

Though Life’s true constant is change, we live our lives acting as if we have the power to control it. That is, until something catastrophic happens. Then we can be shaken from our core and our identity and sense of security feel threatened.

And therein lies our angst.

What I know to be true today is that we do have the power of choice! 

We have the power to choose our thoughts, focus, and attitudes. Daily we can choose how we respond to the events, situations, and circumstances of our lives. 

We have the power to choose how we treat ourselves. We choose how we teach others to treat us! And each time we interact with family, friends, colleagues or strangers, we choose who we are and how we show up!

Just knowing we possess the power to choose can elevate the trust we have for ourselves. This knowing allows us to let go of needing to resist whatever experience we have in the moment. When we make a conscious decision to let go, we open up to see new possibilities and to learn from the lessons Life is offering us. 

In present time, regardless of how it might look, we are empowered to make new choices that can heal and deepen the quality of our lives.
This is true for each and every one of us. 

Here are 5 lessons that still serve me, almost 32 years after choosing to get clean and sober:

1. Trust in a Higher Power.

   Whether a child of God, or a “spirit spark”, we are all an integral part of the great human connection. We are physical delegates for the Divine light of all there is. We are never alone. We cannot be separate from our source of knowing. When we listen with our hearts; clarity, guidance, and peace reveal through our intuition.
   We are empowered with courage, strength, compassion and love.

2. Practice personal responsibility. 

   Life happens for us, not to us. When we let go of needing to judge or blame others for our experience, we are free and supported to create what we want.

3. Live Life one day at a time.

   Life exists and expresses in the present. The present is where God is. When we stay focused on the moment, we are given all we need to take our next right step. We must be present to win!

   Now more than ever we understand that today is the gift we’ve been given and tomorrow is promised to no one. 

4. Take daily personal inventory.

   Be consistent in assessing thoughts, behaviors and the language we use with ourselves and others. Notice whatever feels out of sync with who we are or how we want to be. Consciously make choices and take action to correct, heal and realign.

5. Live in Gratitude.
   We choose to focus on seeing the infinite ways our lives bless us.
   We practice seeing the good in our experiences, in our relationships, and in our opportunities for change. We develop our gratitude muscle by continuously reaching for that good and expressing ourselves in gratefulness.

PONDER THIS

What could you let go of resisting in your Life today?

Reviving My Dreams

Reviving My Dreams

“My dreams are waiting for me to come true.”

— Temple Hayes

What? Wait a minute. That doesn’t sound right. My dreams are waiting for Me to come true?  Oh…NOW I get it.

This past year, I have been visiting my creative self from a critical, perhaps untrusting place. Turning 65 in May somehow jinxed my appreciation for all that I have accomplished and more specifically, hindered my faith in my ability to create more!

I was asked in a coaching session, what accomplishments must happen so I consider my Life to have been satisfying and well-lived?

Easily the milestones of my 31 years of sobriety, motherhood, and publishing my first book -flowed up in response. What I valued next was providing for my family, showing up daily with integrity, traveling and experiencing other cultures, practicing with myself and others -forgiveness and love.

But it was the next question I was asked that really stumped me.

What secret ambition, desire or dream do I fantasize about?

My mind went blank. I searched for an answer and came up with nothing. Hum…apparently I hadn’t fantasized in a very long time. And as I looked at that void in my Life, I realized I’d missed out on all the natural joy that comes with it.

Most of my Life I’ve imagined how I’d like the next decade or phase of my Life to look. My dreams generally presented with intuitive clarity and I set goals to move forward in my chosen direction. Somewhere in my mid 50’s, my clearly defined path became obscure and disjointed. Not in a bad way, just uncharted, unfamiliar, I felt ignorant to the new possibilities.

Do you remember a time (the 70’s perhaps?) when folks who were “reborn” talked about finding God? I always enjoyed hearing the cheeky response, Oh? I didn’t know God was lost!

Similarly, it was not my dreams that were lost, but my connection to my intuition and focus. As I thought about the dreams that were waiting for me, a slow internal smile warmed through my heart.

Of course my dreams wait for me. They’re my dreams! They belong to me and are of my own creation. My dreams wait for me- ever so patiently- to imagine, to align vibrationally, and to take responsible action to manifest them!

My dreams are the parts of me I have yet to express to the outside world.

I sat with this awareness for a bit. I traveled back through the year to discover that I had been fantasizing all along- it just looked and felt different than before.

My ambitions, desires, and dreams have actually evolved into 3 categories, a kind of triangular foundation for self expression:

🕉 Personal Self Care

I returned to Nick’s Pro Fitness after an 8 year hiatus since my Mother died. Nick Kapande still inspires and motivates me to stay aligned with my personal integrity and self-discipline.

In just 3 weeks, my physical, mental, and emotional health have been rejuvenated. I’m enjoying a renewed sense of belonging and connection. And most importantly, I feel really good about myself and my health!

☯️ Cultivate Quality Relationships

One thing I learned from my nasty fall in June, is that my new equine partner Milo, speaks a whole different language than the one I knew with Peanut Butter. Our initial bond remains strong and true. Yet now I realize the value of learning together- the rhythm and dance of a new relationship.

I reconnected with Tanya Buck, my original trainer, riding coach, and long time friend. With Tanya to help show us the way, I trust Milo and I are in for a beautiful journey together.

☸️ My Professional Contribution

Three years ago I closed my business office and classroom. I wrote my Celebrate! book and blogs from home. I traveled to meet with my coaching clients at the library, in conference rooms, back tables at restaurants, while hiking outdoors, and in their private homes. It all worked well until it didn’t. 

I acknowledged my deep desire for my own creative, quiet, space.

I believed I deserved to have it. I gave myself permission and honored my decision by taking action.

And just like that, my new perfect office surfaced! It has space for small groups, coaching, and even a writing nook. It’s within walking distance from home and preserves the old Evergreen energy and charm that I have treasured for over 39 years. Already my enthusiasm and creativity are reignited and I haven’t even moved in! 

PONDER THIS 

What action could you take to honor a dream that you fantasize about?

Be Here Now

BE HERE NOW

Ram Dass

“‘NOW’ is where you get to leave your ego behind
and meet your whole Self”

— Robert Holden

It’s been several weeks since I took a nasty fall from my new horse Milo. We were riding out on the road when Milo spooked at our neighbor as he rounded the fence with his lawn mower. Although the accident seemed spontaneous, when I relive it from my heart-sight, it plays out in sequential slow motion.

After six hours at the ER the x-rays and CAT-scan confirmed closed fractures of my lumbar 1, 2, & 3 vertebra, a rib fracture, and of course, multiple abrasions.

The most obvious gift from this experience has been the reminder to Be Here Now, to live in the present moment, to be conscious and accepting of Life as it is!

This is what I learned about grace and healing…

Gratitude can ground me from moment to moment and allow me to experience physical pain without resisting it. Gratitude gives me permission to feel my other feelings, including the deep sadness I felt for the first 3 days. Gratitude reminds me to keep my focus on healing and acknowledge the progress I make each day.

Empathy and compassion encourage me to be kind, loving, and accepting. They allow me to be free from my need to blame or feel sorry for myself. Empathy and compassion connect me with others who struggle too, with a personal set back, a chronic illness, or an overwhelming challenge.

Self-Care becomes the sole priority in order to function and get through the day. It teaches me that listening to what my body needs is the only important voice in my head. Beyond my imagination, self-care dispels my fear and manifests healing miracles.

My judgement fell away and took with it, my need to define myself by my accomplishments. The stress I create to keep up and to perform, dissolved. I released the focus I had on competing for outside attention.

When I let go of fueling my critical monkey mind, a new appreciation surfaced- a deep more loving connection with my whole self.

Living consciously transcends me and my awareness to a different plane. Time dances with a new rhythm. In the present, I could allow myself to honor my objective observer. I witness in awe, the power my body has to heal itself!

I’ve learned that pain is the great leveler. It abruptly slices through our reality and rattles our perception. It eliminates our preoccupation with the past and annihilates any value we might give to future thinking.

Pain can shatter dreams while offering clarity and connection. It can humbly bring us to our knees and at the same time - direct us to find a new way home…

Today I am happy to share that I feel strong and healthy. I know now, how to proceed with training and developing my relationship with Milo.

I trust my body to continue to mend those physical and emotional parts of me that were wounded. I remain committed to living in a state of gratitude. I practice empathy and compassion with myself (first), and with others.

And Self-care? It is just that!

Self-care means nurturing the connection we have with our inner wisdom and that still small voice that is forever untouched and unlimited in the now!   

PONDER THIS:

What have you experienced where pain shattered a dream yet brought you clarity and connection?

Listen for the Whisper

5 Questions to Ponder to Help you Navigate Holiday Energies

“With a thousand different voices ringing in my ear
I listen for the whisper that only the heart can hear.”

— Jana Stanfield

It’s that time of year when everything appears to accelerate even faster and Life’s chaos is expressed more fanatically than ever!

 It can be especially challenging to find the joy, love, and peace that I believe- are the true gifts of this season.

 Whether with family of origin or of choice, holidays can bring out the best and the worst of behaviors. The oughts and shoulds blare loudly from both outside and in, no matter how we might have grown or now live our daily lives.

A strange phenomenon occurs when we come together to celebrate holiday traditions. Stranger still, can be the experience we create for ourselves by the cyclic thoughts and triggered feelings of old wounds and beliefs of our past.

If you find yourself in secret agreement with me, know that there is hope for all of us! 

When I notice I’m getting sucked into the holiday frenzy, I remind myself of  the tools that can help me navigate this volatile period. There are things I can do to support myself and the experience I want to have.

Here are 5 questions I ask myself. Asking myself questions connects me with the heart of my best self. The whispered answers offer me courage, direction and support. All that is necessary is to give myself permission to show up and interact from this place.

 Try it for yourself: Ask yourself a question aloud, take a deep breath, and allow your answer to come with the exhale.

1)        What one thing can I do to demonstrate self-care?

Consider adding conscious periods (even moments) of Being Alone.

Escape to the outdoors, focus on the gifts of nature, Breathe in…Life.

Excuse yourself to the restroom if that’s what you can do! Give yourself a time out from people and situations that activate you. Take a breather/ break from any negative energy-  especially if that energy emanates from you. Do anything in the moment that shifts your focus to self-care!

 2)  What invitation or obligation can I graciously decline?

Saying yes when you really mean no - is one of the greatest ways you can sabotage your happiness and fuel your self-judgement. Without needing to figure out why you do it, could you honor your inner voice? It is enough to graciously decline without needing to offer excuses or explanations.

 3)  Where can I give of myself to others?

Giving of yourself does not mean depleting your gifts or ignoring what you value. Giving of things is rarely what brings Joy. And if it does, it is short lived. It is not the thing itself that generates a hold on our hearts, but the feelings and the act of sharing that continues to live on in our memories.

Look to see where you might give of yourself differently this year.

Be what you love and give that to others.

 4)  Which holiday tradition or activity do I choose to celebrate?

My Mother use to say that the holidays were “Moms Big Production.” Trying to do it all to please everyone can leave you exhausted and perhaps feeling resentful . Yet there are those specific traditions that fill your heart and represent what you love about the holidays. Give yourself permission to selectively choose to participate in those. Listen to the whisper to create new ways to celebrate and generate fresh joy in your holiday traditions.

 5)  Where can I accept and be compassionate with myself and others?

Most of our angst and hurt feelings come from unresolved issues and embellished memories of our past. So it’s easy to see how holiday events and reunions with families could naturally aggravate our bruises.

When we recognize that others might be having their own challenging and uncomfortable experience, our need to judge and resist them diminishes.

And when we let go of judging others, we feel less judged ourselves.

Choose to accept that everyone is doing the best they can in the moment, including you. Choose to be compassionate and discover ways to demonstrate that this season!

 With love & light, I honor the place where you and I are one.

 JMM