TAME THE KRAKEN!

TAME THE KRAKEN!

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.
In that space is our power to choose our response.
In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

— Viktor E. Frankl

In Scandinavian folklore, the kraken is described as a gigantic sea monster. It has multiple spiked tentacles protruding from its head with powerful suckers that line the underside.

It is told that the kraken could appear out of nowhere, attacking and terrorizing everything in its path. Sailors claimed the monsters possess an uncanny ability to deceive and remain rampant -simply by paralyzing its opponents with fear.

In the 2010 movie Clash of the Titan’s, Zeus (Liam Neeson) in his final  effort to cease the fighting between the mortals and the Gods - thunders his command “Release the kraken!”

I remember watching that movie and shuddering at the sound of what felt like armageddon. 

What if COVID-19 is the kraken being unleashed upon us in 2020?

It is deceptively present without being visible, terrorizes all within its reach and lacks any discrimination in choosing its victims. Its powerful tentacles rip through the infrastructure of our lives. It shreds our health, education, economic and social systems. 

The virus incites irrational fear and claims devastating loss. It blurs our trust in everything we know to be familiar. The prolonged threat and trauma strain and distort our connection - the very nucleus of human relationships.

Though both Earth and her people have engaged in horrific battles, the greatest impact has not been from the outer chaos we observe.

The great disconnect comes from its insidious penetration into our individual hearts and psyche…

Yet, there is a ray of Hope - a course of action, a path still illuminated!

That light is within us as our spirit spark, our free-will, and our power of choice.

Rather than fight a battle I cannot win, I seek that space within me that is solid, safe, and free. I reconnect for guidance, direction, and support with my 7 tenets of Life.

Courage - I revive my valiant warrior!

Focus - I consciously direct my attention.

Integrity - I emulate my stance of truth.

Compassion - I cultivate kindness, acceptance, love.

Presence - I create and communicate from this now moment.

Surrender - I empower my freedom by letting go.

Gratitude - I choose to live in a state of rejoicing! 

 When I choose my response, I am empowered to tame the kraken and remain afloat.

PONDER THIS:

How do you exercise your innate power to respond
to the triggers of your world?

Each Day a New Dawn

Each Day a New Dawn

“Letting go of our need to resist the new, the different, and the
 unfamiliar — allows us to move forward incrementally —
 to eventually embrace it.”

— Jani McCarty

This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced an uninvited, unwanted period of reckoning. I remember another time of great upheaval -which for me - was unprecedented, inconvenient and extremely uncomfortable.

Kind of like now.

The big difference between then and now was that while the outside world continued along pretty much as usual, my own familiar Life crumbled into unrecognizable pieces.

Not that my Life was going all that well to begin with. I had been spiraling down for several years, lost in an endless battle to fix myself and to regain some semblance of happiness, of my self-control. 

It was exhausting to try to manage my drinking and drugging while showing up daily, pretending to be normal.

You see I had lost my way. I had fallen off my path and couldn’t remember what was true for me. I was disillusioned by my beliefs and had strayed from what was really important in Life.

Kind of like now.

What I counted on for my reality, the outside influences that I relied on to define me and how my Life should look, drastically changed.

Nothing was the same. Piece by piece familiar aspects fell away. I felt disorientated, afraid, and certainly powerless.

Kind of like now.

Though Life’s true constant is change, we live our lives acting as if we have the power to control it. That is, until something catastrophic happens. Then we can be shaken from our core and our identity and sense of security feel threatened.

And therein lies our angst.

What I know to be true today is that we do have the power of choice! 

We have the power to choose our thoughts, focus, and attitudes. Daily we can choose how we respond to the events, situations, and circumstances of our lives. 

We have the power to choose how we treat ourselves. We choose how we teach others to treat us! And each time we interact with family, friends, colleagues or strangers, we choose who we are and how we show up!

Just knowing we possess the power to choose can elevate the trust we have for ourselves. This knowing allows us to let go of needing to resist whatever experience we have in the moment. When we make a conscious decision to let go, we open up to see new possibilities and to learn from the lessons Life is offering us. 

In present time, regardless of how it might look, we are empowered to make new choices that can heal and deepen the quality of our lives.
This is true for each and every one of us. 

Here are 5 lessons that still serve me, almost 32 years after choosing to get clean and sober:

1. Trust in a Higher Power.

   Whether a child of God, or a “spirit spark”, we are all an integral part of the great human connection. We are physical delegates for the Divine light of all there is. We are never alone. We cannot be separate from our source of knowing. When we listen with our hearts; clarity, guidance, and peace reveal through our intuition.
   We are empowered with courage, strength, compassion and love.

2. Practice personal responsibility. 

   Life happens for us, not to us. When we let go of needing to judge or blame others for our experience, we are free and supported to create what we want.

3. Live Life one day at a time.

   Life exists and expresses in the present. The present is where God is. When we stay focused on the moment, we are given all we need to take our next right step. We must be present to win!

   Now more than ever we understand that today is the gift we’ve been given and tomorrow is promised to no one. 

4. Take daily personal inventory.

   Be consistent in assessing thoughts, behaviors and the language we use with ourselves and others. Notice whatever feels out of sync with who we are or how we want to be. Consciously make choices and take action to correct, heal and realign.

5. Live in Gratitude.
   We choose to focus on seeing the infinite ways our lives bless us.
   We practice seeing the good in our experiences, in our relationships, and in our opportunities for change. We develop our gratitude muscle by continuously reaching for that good and expressing ourselves in gratefulness.

PONDER THIS

What could you let go of resisting in your Life today?

BE YOUR OWN VALENTINE!

BE YOUR OWN VALENTINE!

“No amount of self-improvement can make up for
any lack of self-acceptance.”

— Robert Holden

If you’re like me, you might have sighed a bit of relief when January ended. January has a reputation for demanding that we make a big push to complete everything that didn’t get finished, accomplished or experienced last year.

For most of us, this isn’t a new challenge. It’s  just a new version of wishing that has cycled around again.

Rather than engaging in forward momentum we can get stuck in what we believe might be lacking in our lives. From this self-imposed pressure, we begin to judge and criticize ourselves for not doing or being more!

Which brings us into February; the month of love.

The hoax of February is that love and acknowledgement can be found outside of ourselves. We search for validation from others as proof that we are more than we’ve been judging ourselves to be!

And here is where Robert Holden’s quote provides us some clarity and direction.

No matter what effort we make to improve ourselves, we will fail if we  come from a place of self-judgment. We must learn to acknowledge and accept where we are in the present, before we can successfully make any changes.

Here are 3 daily practices that I use to help me to be present and to process the energies that can sabotage my growth and happiness. I offer these as a guideline to support you to Be Your Own Valentine:

1) Monitor your Self-Talk. You know that constant berating that goes round in your head, questioning your decisions, doubting your abilities,  and judging your value? Listen to the language you use when you talk to yourself or about yourself with others.

When you become aware of how negative or condescending you sound, stop! Take a deep breath and then reframe what you have said to yourself in a positive supportive way.
 
- Ask yourself if what you just said is really true?
 - Restate your message in the same voice and words you would use
    when talking with a child, a close friend, or your beloved pet.
- When you hear yourself use the word “should,” replace it with “could.”
     
It’s amazing how changing one word can transform the entire emotional energy of your message.
     
2) Random Forgiveness. The moment you become aware you are beating yourself up for a perceived or perhaps real mistake you’ve made, practice this short energy shifter.

Take a deep breath and ask yourself these questions out loud:
Could I let go of needing to beat myself up about this, just for now?
Breathe. (yes)
Just for now, could I forgive myself for whatever mistake I believe I’ve made?
Breathe. (yes) 
And when I forgive myself, how does that make me feel?
Breathe. (state the feeling - good, better, relieved)
Could I allow myself to just feel (your feeling) for now?
Breathe. (yes)  

Developing a spontaneous practice of forgiving yourself may seem a bit lame or unnecessary. Yet when we make a habit of checking in with ourselves to clear our personal judgements, we give our negative energies a way to dissipate before we can stuff them!

3) Acknowledge & Accept. Each time we catch ourselves doing something good, or following through to complete something important to us, we cast a ripple of appreciation on our hearts.

When we make a point to acknowledge ourselves (out loud is always most powerful) we ease out our resistance and create a space for self-acceptance.

When we let go of our need to make ourselves more, we set ourselves free! From this place of self-acceptance, we can see, love and appreciate who we already are!

PONDER THIS:

What are 3 ways you could be kind, loving, and accepting of yourself this Valentine’s Day?

Be Here Now

BE HERE NOW

Ram Dass

“‘NOW’ is where you get to leave your ego behind
and meet your whole Self”

— Robert Holden

It’s been several weeks since I took a nasty fall from my new horse Milo. We were riding out on the road when Milo spooked at our neighbor as he rounded the fence with his lawn mower. Although the accident seemed spontaneous, when I relive it from my heart-sight, it plays out in sequential slow motion.

After six hours at the ER the x-rays and CAT-scan confirmed closed fractures of my lumbar 1, 2, & 3 vertebra, a rib fracture, and of course, multiple abrasions.

The most obvious gift from this experience has been the reminder to Be Here Now, to live in the present moment, to be conscious and accepting of Life as it is!

This is what I learned about grace and healing…

Gratitude can ground me from moment to moment and allow me to experience physical pain without resisting it. Gratitude gives me permission to feel my other feelings, including the deep sadness I felt for the first 3 days. Gratitude reminds me to keep my focus on healing and acknowledge the progress I make each day.

Empathy and compassion encourage me to be kind, loving, and accepting. They allow me to be free from my need to blame or feel sorry for myself. Empathy and compassion connect me with others who struggle too, with a personal set back, a chronic illness, or an overwhelming challenge.

Self-Care becomes the sole priority in order to function and get through the day. It teaches me that listening to what my body needs is the only important voice in my head. Beyond my imagination, self-care dispels my fear and manifests healing miracles.

My judgement fell away and took with it, my need to define myself by my accomplishments. The stress I create to keep up and to perform, dissolved. I released the focus I had on competing for outside attention.

When I let go of fueling my critical monkey mind, a new appreciation surfaced- a deep more loving connection with my whole self.

Living consciously transcends me and my awareness to a different plane. Time dances with a new rhythm. In the present, I could allow myself to honor my objective observer. I witness in awe, the power my body has to heal itself!

I’ve learned that pain is the great leveler. It abruptly slices through our reality and rattles our perception. It eliminates our preoccupation with the past and annihilates any value we might give to future thinking.

Pain can shatter dreams while offering clarity and connection. It can humbly bring us to our knees and at the same time - direct us to find a new way home…

Today I am happy to share that I feel strong and healthy. I know now, how to proceed with training and developing my relationship with Milo.

I trust my body to continue to mend those physical and emotional parts of me that were wounded. I remain committed to living in a state of gratitude. I practice empathy and compassion with myself (first), and with others.

And Self-care? It is just that!

Self-care means nurturing the connection we have with our inner wisdom and that still small voice that is forever untouched and unlimited in the now!   

PONDER THIS:

What have you experienced where pain shattered a dream yet brought you clarity and connection?

Listen for the Whisper

5 Questions to Ponder to Help you Navigate Holiday Energies

“With a thousand different voices ringing in my ear
I listen for the whisper that only the heart can hear.”

— Jana Stanfield

It’s that time of year when everything appears to accelerate even faster and Life’s chaos is expressed more fanatically than ever!

 It can be especially challenging to find the joy, love, and peace that I believe- are the true gifts of this season.

 Whether with family of origin or of choice, holidays can bring out the best and the worst of behaviors. The oughts and shoulds blare loudly from both outside and in, no matter how we might have grown or now live our daily lives.

A strange phenomenon occurs when we come together to celebrate holiday traditions. Stranger still, can be the experience we create for ourselves by the cyclic thoughts and triggered feelings of old wounds and beliefs of our past.

If you find yourself in secret agreement with me, know that there is hope for all of us! 

When I notice I’m getting sucked into the holiday frenzy, I remind myself of  the tools that can help me navigate this volatile period. There are things I can do to support myself and the experience I want to have.

Here are 5 questions I ask myself. Asking myself questions connects me with the heart of my best self. The whispered answers offer me courage, direction and support. All that is necessary is to give myself permission to show up and interact from this place.

 Try it for yourself: Ask yourself a question aloud, take a deep breath, and allow your answer to come with the exhale.

1)        What one thing can I do to demonstrate self-care?

Consider adding conscious periods (even moments) of Being Alone.

Escape to the outdoors, focus on the gifts of nature, Breathe in…Life.

Excuse yourself to the restroom if that’s what you can do! Give yourself a time out from people and situations that activate you. Take a breather/ break from any negative energy-  especially if that energy emanates from you. Do anything in the moment that shifts your focus to self-care!

 2)  What invitation or obligation can I graciously decline?

Saying yes when you really mean no - is one of the greatest ways you can sabotage your happiness and fuel your self-judgement. Without needing to figure out why you do it, could you honor your inner voice? It is enough to graciously decline without needing to offer excuses or explanations.

 3)  Where can I give of myself to others?

Giving of yourself does not mean depleting your gifts or ignoring what you value. Giving of things is rarely what brings Joy. And if it does, it is short lived. It is not the thing itself that generates a hold on our hearts, but the feelings and the act of sharing that continues to live on in our memories.

Look to see where you might give of yourself differently this year.

Be what you love and give that to others.

 4)  Which holiday tradition or activity do I choose to celebrate?

My Mother use to say that the holidays were “Moms Big Production.” Trying to do it all to please everyone can leave you exhausted and perhaps feeling resentful . Yet there are those specific traditions that fill your heart and represent what you love about the holidays. Give yourself permission to selectively choose to participate in those. Listen to the whisper to create new ways to celebrate and generate fresh joy in your holiday traditions.

 5)  Where can I accept and be compassionate with myself and others?

Most of our angst and hurt feelings come from unresolved issues and embellished memories of our past. So it’s easy to see how holiday events and reunions with families could naturally aggravate our bruises.

When we recognize that others might be having their own challenging and uncomfortable experience, our need to judge and resist them diminishes.

And when we let go of judging others, we feel less judged ourselves.

Choose to accept that everyone is doing the best they can in the moment, including you. Choose to be compassionate and discover ways to demonstrate that this season!

 With love & light, I honor the place where you and I are one.

 JMM