Dissolve to Resolve
“Your task is not to seek LOVE
but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it. ”
In my early twenties while teaching high school in a rural mountain community, I was first introduced to the concept of self-love. The idea that self-love and acceptance could actually heal my body, heart, and Life was pretty far-fetched.
Still, it was the mid 70’s and the New Thought Movement was just amping up for a wondrous ride.
Now after surviving the trauma of 2020, I again reflect on how to move forward, how to heal my Life…
Louise Hay believed there were four primary barriers to self-love; criticism, resentment, fear, and guilt. She believed that “our experiences always reflect our inner beliefs.”
This pandemic has shown me ways that I (still) use these and other barriers - to lose sight of the true abundance of love in my Life.
I took a fresh look at these barriers. This is what I discovered. . .
Criticism - I believe I am less than, flawed, or out of control. I criticize myself or others in an effort to distract me from feeling uncomfortable or taking personal responsibility.
What I’ve learned:
I make mistakes; I am not a mistake. Making mistakes is human. Everyone makes them. It’s how we learn.
In my need to be right, I must make someone else wrong.
When I let go of judging, my resistance dissolves. I begin to experience the sweet relief that comes from acceptance.
Resentment - I believe that someone is responsible for the way I feel. I continue to re-feel a hurt or disappointment. I direct my pain outside myself while suppressing deeper the original wounds of my heart.
What I’ve learned:
My feelings are my emotional responses to the triggers in my Life. They exist to catch my attention and to offer me a lesson.
Blaming others for the way I feel is a habitual defense mechanism.
When I allow myself to feel and process whatever I am feeling, the need to protect myself dissipates.
Fear - I believe someone or something is threatening me. I feel unsafe. Future Events Appear Real. I experience the sensations of what I might feel if whatever I am thinking about actually occurs.
What I’ve learned:
Anything new and unfamiliar threatens my comfortable complacency.
Life is lived in the present. The very guidance and connection I crave exist only in today.
When I let go of projecting, I experience courage, confidence, and stability.
Guilt - I believe that I don’t do enough or give enough. When I recognize how much I have while observing the more challenging road of another, I at times, practice self-condemnation.
What I’ve learned:
Making myself small is an act of selfishness that serves no-one.
Losing sight of gratitude is what cultivates an environment for guilt.
When I release my need for Life to be fair, love rushes in with the gift of acceptance.
In this New Year, I resolve to pay attention and take action to weed out the un-truths of my consciousness. I let go of focusing on anything that I am not.
When I dissolve the barriers I have built within me, I am free to create, contribute and celebrate- all that I am!
PONDER THIS:
What is one barrier that restricts you from loving and accepting yourself that you could let go of in 2021?
Photography by Kerry Howard
Has your heart been calling you to change, to grow? Do you long to be kinder and more loving with yourself yet don’t know how to get there?
You don’t have to make your way alone…
Schedule a 30 minute consultation with me to explore how we could partner on your journey!